There is something beautiful about patience. It is a newer protocol to me. I am generally aggressive or impatient, and so it was for me to sit with others and trust that they will get to where they need to and know what is best for them.
There is great anger in perfectionism. It disguises itself as passive aggressiveness or impatience, and that is why I had never detected it in me. We can focus on the pros – the organized life and clarity. However, honesty illuminated reality. Do we accept ourselves, the bad and the good? How can we see others as a whole entity, if we do not?
A natural part of my personality will always wants to get back to the center, and I genuinely believe that the laws of reality favor truth. Good always prevails in the end.
We can get distracted with the current divisiveness in politics, but this is only a mark in time. There is the greatest simplicity in perspective. Twenty years from now we will be focused on another matter, and we will rise to it. I want to understand others and to have the courage to stand up for another. I don’t see myself as an outsider nor as an arbiter of truth; elitism and self-indulgence comes in where “we” ends.
To be whole with myself enables me to not lose myself in the whole. There are still individuals within a we; when people have united internal resistance, when people are whole, they can allow imperfection also in others, so that each individual can breathe and trust their own judgment. For all the wars I’ve raged inside, guilt or random indulgence placated. Desire and need press down, mistakes and burdens entail, and this is a part of being alive. To err is human; to forgive our enemies will include forgiving ourselves as well.
We are both our greatest friend and enemy, and one cannot discard the other, only accept things as they come. No man can ever be only bright. Light and dark reference; the heart that beats goes up and down – it neither flatlines nor refuses blood. We must allow things to flow through.
Taking a stand is important mainly because it is a symbol in time that marks the way for me. If I don’t write something down or decide, it is not conscious reasoning. It gives me a way to justify all things. Standing risks hypocrisy, but let our stances be for the right motivations: for the good of the whole, not for our pride. Let us stand for simplicity in existence.
I have learned that the worst thing I can do is to want or expect people to act like me. Every man finds his own path and needs things at different times, and if I trust myself, I can trust others.
I want to learn, to rise to the occasion as it presents with a level-head, to accept my dark with my light, and to live in the present. The mind races analytically and imagination soars so that the present can seem dull in comparison. But the more that I am within the present and within myself, the more the mind and imagination penetrate reality and rest in it. There is courage in participation and being present.
The dark goes with the light. There are stories of heroism amidst adversity. There are stories of redemption amid genocide, where a man slaughtered a family, convinced he was doing what he had to. The surviving daughter forgave and even befriended. If we could see inside of people, the burdens they carry that came long before they, the dark and light inside us all, we would see. When we forgive others, we can forgive ourselves.
Within the present, there is minimal clutter in thought. There is peace in being grounded and light this holiday season.
When people are allowed to be real, there will always be imperfection. A stone perfectly pure is rarely genuine. There is an amber glow in good will and in differences.
Having principles is a light that guides my way, but let my first principle be love.