I think that perspective is the best thing you can strive for in life, because with perspective and knowledge, we can come to know understanding. More experiences in life – through travel, years lived, raising children, reading books – usually results in more knowledge, in broader perspective. It depends if we allow experiences to challenge or if we bend our experiences to fit our reality, our closest premises.
Advice, by its nature, is biased. I can give you advice, but it will always be tailored towards thinkers before feelers because that’s who I am. I can swear that pride is the thing that brings a man down, but that is, again, speaking from an INTJ perspective. It will resonate to some, usually those the most like my personality.
My uncle is a different man. An ISTJ, a sensor, he loves the status quo. He is matter of fact and competent at day-to-day tasks, unlike most intuitives like me. The things he would stand by are laws and past precedent, that these are the things that help his life find order. Indeed, that is the truth for him and many other sensors, but nothing in life is all-encompassing. Everyone has a different personality, and so, different languages, priorities, and solutions. I’ve always valued autonomy, so my life looks a little more unorthodox. It’s harder to respect a life like mine, if 75% of the population is a sensor like my uncle. But it is where I thrive. The result can be appreciated or respected, if not the methodology.
Everything I offer, I hope that you tailor it to yourself. Everything that you say, I know that it is opinion, just like you know what I say is my own. The problem is when we allow past authors to speak with authority, to command, and when we begin to pass off our own anecdotal experience and perspective as fact. It is, to be sure, a fact for us. Our advice works for us; it is as real as the sun that rises every morning. But to others, what causes us to soar in the sky, can sink them into the depths. The very same advice, applied to different people, produces all kinds of result. It can set one free and feel like prison to another. If you are a sensor and I said that authority doesn’t matter, the past doesn’t matter – that is a cruel thing for me to say. That is what matters to you, and if I care about you, I will care about what you care about. So it is with clutter. To a logical person, I can see that clutter has no use, but if I think from a broader perspective, I can see that it may have meaning to you. I will carve out a space for you because I love you.
People naturally gravitate to whoever they really were all along with age, when they care less about what other people think and what they were taught. If they are a sensor, they tend to gravitate towards what has been done. If they are an intuitive person, their life is more messy, and they gravitate to new paths. You can raise four kids in the same manner, and they all have different outcomes because of their individual personalities. These personalities, more than beliefs, drive their choices. To try to force them into a specific reality (be a doctor, believe this) sets them back and doesn’t change who they really are inside. With this childhood, if they follow a passion that is not accepted, they may do so with guilt; and if they do not follow their passion, they set up a life where they are bound to hurt many people when they snap backward after a decade or more of doing what they thought they should have been doing, instead of realizing what really matters to them.
With age, we will figure out where we should have been headed, what our passions and priorities always were from childhood, the people we mesh so well with. The problem is, thinking in a narrow vein, instead of broadly, sets us back for many years. Short-term thinking allows for immediate action, expediency — which is required in most households — but these things can come at the expense of intellect and foresight. The problems coming down the pike are in clear view, but we are missing it by seeing only the here and now.
What works for us may work for three of our four kids, because 75% of people are sensors. But it won’t work as well for our intuitive children, and instead of feeling disappointment in this, tap into and applaud what makes each child unique. Everyone has something different and necessary to offer. Nothing is all good or bad. There are pros and cons to all personality types. Intuitive children can be exceptionally creative, for instance. I don’t want anyone to lose a decade to worry; the process of finding what matters is messy. It’s cleaner if we support the process, instead of interfere with good intentions. Life is messy, by nature. Religion and politics bring some order, but even within those borders, we see the mess all the time. The result rarely deviates from what is. Methodology should be personal.
Everyone’s journey is different, and the solutions and passions will deviate.
Only with understanding is there true love, a love that doesn’t change or control. Love based on others will fluctuate. Compassion is great love. Great love and peace is what captures our attention. Beauty always does.