People have opinions on many things, especially on eco-friendliness, politics, religion, diet, parenting, and mating. We have a social and homebody self, and it’s a shame to me that people are afraid of who they are. Whatever is normal is familiar, and so it is esteemed the most because we all want to feel like we’re coming home, even if what is normal is not healthy. We were taught love and virtue by many things and people, but rarely did these definitions come from us. Any opinion that is not normal, we will either hide that opinion, attempt to deliver it with tact, or suffer implied consequences.
I don’t think there is a person who doesn’t have some odd opinion for the society or company in which they find themselves. Therefore, I think that if honesty is a virtue, then compassion should be esteemed highly. Mindfulness and minimalism go together well, and so do lovingkindness and honesty.
I find it hard to put myself in the shoes of many people, but the virtue would be in the trying. Understanding is hard. Loving people the way they are is not encouraging others to do wrong, but encouraging them to be honest and to feel safe. Healthy minds would make the best choices.
Gossip, judgment, and condescension are mainstays in society. But is this the world we want to find ourselves? We can’t tell a motive or a heart very easily. People feel afraid — provoked or overly cautious — in speech.
So if a citizen or lover has a hurtful opinion, I want to know it. My job is to work on letting the truth not affect me in any way that won’t encourage it.
So maybe some things I cannot live with or handle in love, and it is up to me to be vulnerable enough to pour out my fears on the reasons why, even if the vulnerability isn’t received with the same level of compassion.
In an ideal world, being ourselves would be the pleasing — and in a lot of ways it is. But certain behavior plays on our own fears, our own shortcomings. There is no perfect human. To love is to understand fear and to allay it, not just to please by being.
Understanding and vulnerability are my only two roles. I want to give people the benefit of the doubt.
No friend is independent of each other completely. That’s the beauty of life: We change the world by changing ourselves. The best chance we have at being a positive influence is through accepting people as they are, with no expectation. People can only change so much, so fast, ourselves included.
How can we love others when we can’t love ourselves? So then what we do at work and how we see ourselves — day to day the majority of us don’t live by our ideals. We putter around the house and we try to survive — this comes to be who we are. When we look in the mirror, do we like what we see? Are we happy or always looking forward to another day, a better version of ourself? If we can see past our eyes, to our soul and our motivations, then we can be honest, and not just opinionated. We move ground when we move ourselves.