Julia

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When I was 17, I took a clerical job and received my own office and autonomy.  I had hoped for a job like this for a long time.

I had a hard time considering others or hierarchy at the time.  I was eager to prove myself, coming from the bottom.  I remember the first day.  The woman I was replacing was retiring.  I had so many improvements and enthusiasm, and I loved showing them to management.  They were well-received, but the woman leaving, this was her life’s work, and I could not appreciate her institutions or be cognizant of how she was feeling about fear of being invaluable.  It was ironic because I was feeling the same, but I couldn’t see past myself.  

A Cell in a Bigger Body:

We’re in something bigger than ourselves, and it can take a lifetime to see it’s not about us.  It’s a work in progress for everyone I think.  She passed away about a year ago, and I never got to say goodbye or thank her.  

I had to learn to consider, to put people over causes and ideals.  Everybody appreciates appreciation.  Many things should be analyzed, but people should be respected and loved.

Authenticity:

Even though authenticity varies from person to person, unfiltered authenticity after the past has refined, often looks ordinary.  There is minimal drama and self-gain to it.  There’s nothing praiseworthy of failure.  Reality is brutal and sometimes hard to come to terms with.  But know that the brutality is part of the beauty and part of the whole.  Integrity remains under pressure.  Integrity requires us to see what is involved, in whole.

We honor our past by recognizing our part in it, and improving where we feared.  The fire refines and burns away impurity, and fire is pain.  So much time is spent on what makes a good person, but there is less need for deliberation with humility.  By being present, it may engulf, but we can’t help but want to avoid hurting others because they become more valued when we give dignity to ourselves.  Belief is halfway to realization:  You have compassion and value.   You can develop protocol to not let yourself down, and you can find an environment in which fosters the values that you do.  

It becomes clear when we come to, that we mattered just as much as everyone else.  We impact each other’s lives, so let our impact be pure.  

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