Leaves alternate colors and let go. Fall is in the air. I headed downtown and ran into a pumpkin festival. There is something highly enjoyable about a crowd, street food, little kids with cold pink noses, dog enthusiasts, and the creative people selling their wares. People share tables. Conversations and jokes are had with the vendors. Photos taken to preserve and share the memory.
I picked up a few pumpkins for myself and carved them, which is something I’ve never done before. I don’t think I’ve seen a pumpkin carving in Hawaii. I used to avoid tradition, but I see the point of festivals, pumpkins, and cinnamon: They mark the way. They add joy, inspiration, and embellishment to life. I am open to trying almost everything at least once. So this weekend, I’ll heat cinnamon sticks and orange peels to perfume the house. Something small, but something to mark the way.
I’ve wondered if a man can change who he is, the way a mind works. I don’t know how much. Isn’t it worth a try to test limits? It’s worth a try for me.
I’ve mapped out some habits I’ve always wanted for myself a year ago, but I got stuck in the planning phase. Last-minute concerns, other pressing matters. But this month is the end of waiting. My downfall has been over-planning, but now I will do and enjoy the moment. One leaf falling, one shop class, one simple pumpkin carving. I won’t hesitate or talk myself out of things as much; I will go in and then rise to the occasion. I will wait and watch. I will sip and indulge. There is no point to wondering if I’m being who I should be or who I really am, or if anything is worth it in the end. Why torture yourself so? There are no more questions for the living. It is time to create and explore, to trust what you know and gather more from experience.
The joy is in working with your hands and using your mind, not letting it bother you at inopportune times. There are questions to ask, but most of them aren’t relevant to the task or situation that we’ve prioritized. So we’ll procrastinate on what we should have been putting off all this time: doubt, not our ideals.